Tonight is the eve of finding out whether or not I make it into the BP award. I told a friend that it is the "eve of rejection". You see, I will NOT set myself up for major disappointment again, although it will still hurt. "Boo" was a personal triumph, you see. And it will always be one of the most important pieces in my life.
I will not lie. Last week when I discovered that "Having a Nice Day" did not make the final cut for the Royal Society of Portrait Painters exhibition, I was devastated. Tears could not flow enough. So it's one down, one to go. I cannot say "Wish me luck" as the decision has already been made. I have only a 3% chance of getting "Boo" through, and I realize I am literally up against the most talented artists in the world. Scary stuff. Today I painted my heart out. I simply allowed myself to get lost in it all and it helped make the day go quicker. I also did a photo shoot of my neighbour, whom I have been contemplating painting for awhile now. She was so gracious and I ended up with an amazing photo of her. Life does go on, and I guess I could allow the heart-crushing disappointment prevent me from entering another contest again. I've seen it happen to others. I wonder, do the judges realize how many talented and passionate artists are left decimated by their decisions? Anyway, in spite of trying to protect myself by knowing with absolute certainty that "Boo" will NOT get in, I am still anticipating a very restless night. It's inevitable. And I also know I am not alone out there; thousands of us will be wondering, hoping, and dreaming that our art will finally be recognized. That someone out there will say "This is special". Goodnight, weebly readers. :-)
1 Comment
Neil Warren
4/5/2012 09:20:53 pm
We're agreed now though, dear passing reader, that making the second cut with Boo, and getting a nice letter back from the judges saying so, put Jeanne in the top 10% with a first-ever foray into a top international portrait competition.
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